This week while on vacation I have realized more and more that I do not belong in the classroom. It started with the dreaming and wishing propgranda Disney World fills your head with. The idea that you can do whatever you want regardless of the challenges life may place before you. I'm finally ready to face those challenges to my ultimate dream.
John says I need to have faith and take that leap because if I don't I will never know what could have been. I sometimes need to fail multiple times before I can succeed. Walt Disney logic. Walt Disney this week has been a huge motivator. The man poured everything he had constantly into any dream that he had. HIs parents wished alternate plans for him but he followed through with his ideas. Look how he ended up? Even after close calls of protest, business failures and successes, his dream is still alive post death. Not that I want a cupcake theme part by any means but I am finally seeing that it could be possible. I never want Rosies Bakery to become a super mega empire like Mrs. Fields or Keebler. Just a successful main street bakery is my idea.
God is another huge factor. I do not have the faith I should in God to provide for John and I. It's not all up to me, or John to provide for us. I live with the believe that I am a child of God and that if he feeds the sparrows he will feed John and our children, and provide us shelter. That I can be successful in my ventures.
Supported by this is the fact that I'm very sure I bombed my teacher professional education test. It was hard. It wasn't like the study guide and really caught me off guard. Sitting 40 questions in, I just wanted to run out the door and cry. This is not what I want to do. I know that if I stay in teaching I am going to become an old croney teacher who hates her job and children. I cannot let this happen to myself. I need to take a stand.
To top it off I had a teaching job interview on Friday evening. I bombed that. I was nervous and talking, they haven't got back to me, but they cut the interview at the end of the interview. I'm just done with education.
I don't know what will happen when we get back from vacation. I'm waiting to hear back from the GM at the dragon hill but it sounded like it could have been possible for me to come in and work in the bakery. Should be challenging but I am so ready to learn. I don't know if that means a job or they will let me work for free but I'll take either. Korea has no oppurtunities for me to pursue this further so this is my only chance. John's going to help me take some business classes, and I"m going to look for a scuplture class to take in the meantime.
Just wanted to journal an update. Now back to my vacation in Florida!
No comments:
Post a Comment