What a whirlwind week.
Not sure if I have wrote about teaching but I have been working for the past 9 months to become a certified teacher. At the time (just as in college) I thought this would be my choice career. I am soon learning not so much, and by the point I realized this I had already completed 4-5 lessons out of 7. Since I didn't pay for the program (scholarship) I figured I'd finish it. Well this summer, I'll be taking the last of my exams, and opportunities came up that are allowing me to finish my student teaching and become a certified teacher. While I'm not too excited about this, a fight with John about it actually led me to really realize what I needed to do. To backtrack again, when I talk about teaching, I can see John getting irritated with me. He sort of tunes out and just says "uh hu, oh yeah?" Well he did this this past week and I broke and began yelling at him. Why don't you support me? You don't care how hard I have worked for this...You don't listen to me when I try to talk to you about teaching..his response?
" I don't want to hear it because I know deep down you hate it. I know it's not what you are meant to do and I wish you would stop listening to everyone else and take control of your life. You were meant to bake. Nothing less. That's it. And I am working, willing to do anything to support that for you, and you want to throw it away teaching. If you want to spend your life in a job you hate, fine but don't complain to me about how you should have pursued your real dream."
My response, "but we won't have any money, I'll have to work odd hours, how are we ever going to start a family?" John replied, "If it is meant to be, God will lead us on the path. I wish you would not worry about next year, ten years from now, children we don't have yet, mortgages, bills, things we don't have yet, and worry about accomplishing your dreams."
I love my husband. He is always there to support me and take care of my emotional fits. While I am still going to get my teaching license because I've worked for it and I'm capable of it, I have really took steps to pursue baking.
I mentioned to a friend who works at the four star hotel on base that I was looking to get my foot in the door in their deli/bakery at the hotel. She immediately called the manager of the bakery, and returned asking me to build a portfolio this weekend of pictures of my work, along with a resume and he would give me a call. I think at that moment, I just about peed my pants. Instead I ran out, got tons of supplies, and began baking up some cupcakes (she mentioned they wanted in on the cupcake trend). Tonight I began the decorating, and things turned out pretty well. I'm not so out of practice with my cake decorating but there's definitely room for improvement.
My achievement? Accomplishing beautiful shell borders. I have always struggled with those damn things. Two rounds of practice on a practice cupcake and I had it. I'm still smiling. Again, I don't get this reaction from teaching.
This weekend, I'm going to bake a bit more, decorate a full cake, and create that portfolio to be ready for Monday.
I could just die. Best day today, vacation in two weeks, possible baking work. Most awesome husband.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Florida's effect on me.
This week while on vacation I have realized more and more that I do not belong in the classroom. It started with the dreaming and wishing propgranda Disney World fills your head with. The idea that you can do whatever you want regardless of the challenges life may place before you. I'm finally ready to face those challenges to my ultimate dream.
John says I need to have faith and take that leap because if I don't I will never know what could have been. I sometimes need to fail multiple times before I can succeed. Walt Disney logic. Walt Disney this week has been a huge motivator. The man poured everything he had constantly into any dream that he had. HIs parents wished alternate plans for him but he followed through with his ideas. Look how he ended up? Even after close calls of protest, business failures and successes, his dream is still alive post death. Not that I want a cupcake theme part by any means but I am finally seeing that it could be possible. I never want Rosies Bakery to become a super mega empire like Mrs. Fields or Keebler. Just a successful main street bakery is my idea.
God is another huge factor. I do not have the faith I should in God to provide for John and I. It's not all up to me, or John to provide for us. I live with the believe that I am a child of God and that if he feeds the sparrows he will feed John and our children, and provide us shelter. That I can be successful in my ventures.
Supported by this is the fact that I'm very sure I bombed my teacher professional education test. It was hard. It wasn't like the study guide and really caught me off guard. Sitting 40 questions in, I just wanted to run out the door and cry. This is not what I want to do. I know that if I stay in teaching I am going to become an old croney teacher who hates her job and children. I cannot let this happen to myself. I need to take a stand.
To top it off I had a teaching job interview on Friday evening. I bombed that. I was nervous and talking, they haven't got back to me, but they cut the interview at the end of the interview. I'm just done with education.
I don't know what will happen when we get back from vacation. I'm waiting to hear back from the GM at the dragon hill but it sounded like it could have been possible for me to come in and work in the bakery. Should be challenging but I am so ready to learn. I don't know if that means a job or they will let me work for free but I'll take either. Korea has no oppurtunities for me to pursue this further so this is my only chance. John's going to help me take some business classes, and I"m going to look for a scuplture class to take in the meantime.
Just wanted to journal an update. Now back to my vacation in Florida!
John says I need to have faith and take that leap because if I don't I will never know what could have been. I sometimes need to fail multiple times before I can succeed. Walt Disney logic. Walt Disney this week has been a huge motivator. The man poured everything he had constantly into any dream that he had. HIs parents wished alternate plans for him but he followed through with his ideas. Look how he ended up? Even after close calls of protest, business failures and successes, his dream is still alive post death. Not that I want a cupcake theme part by any means but I am finally seeing that it could be possible. I never want Rosies Bakery to become a super mega empire like Mrs. Fields or Keebler. Just a successful main street bakery is my idea.
God is another huge factor. I do not have the faith I should in God to provide for John and I. It's not all up to me, or John to provide for us. I live with the believe that I am a child of God and that if he feeds the sparrows he will feed John and our children, and provide us shelter. That I can be successful in my ventures.
Supported by this is the fact that I'm very sure I bombed my teacher professional education test. It was hard. It wasn't like the study guide and really caught me off guard. Sitting 40 questions in, I just wanted to run out the door and cry. This is not what I want to do. I know that if I stay in teaching I am going to become an old croney teacher who hates her job and children. I cannot let this happen to myself. I need to take a stand.
To top it off I had a teaching job interview on Friday evening. I bombed that. I was nervous and talking, they haven't got back to me, but they cut the interview at the end of the interview. I'm just done with education.
I don't know what will happen when we get back from vacation. I'm waiting to hear back from the GM at the dragon hill but it sounded like it could have been possible for me to come in and work in the bakery. Should be challenging but I am so ready to learn. I don't know if that means a job or they will let me work for free but I'll take either. Korea has no oppurtunities for me to pursue this further so this is my only chance. John's going to help me take some business classes, and I"m going to look for a scuplture class to take in the meantime.
Just wanted to journal an update. Now back to my vacation in Florida!
Saturday, May 18, 2013
This past week was all about reflection
This week I have been really thinking about my future and what I want to do with my career. I've come to the conclusion that Teaching is nice but it's just a job for me. I'm finally at my breaking point with being a pushover. I just can't do it much longer. I'm a crossroads but stuck all the same. At work teachers are getting laid off and no new teachers are being hired. I'm not sure where my job as a para-educator will stand in the fall but I am sure of what I'm going to do with myself in the pursuit of life, liberty and happiness. I'm going to take some business classes in the fall and over the next year earn a couple of certificates in business. I know nothing about business but I have so many ideas for what I want Rosie's Bakery to be. Although where we are right now, culinary school is not an option for me, business courses are. So that idea is keeping me content at the moment.
John has been incredibly supportive of me really pursuing my dreams. I know that he more than anyone can see how much I don't like teaching. How it is just a job for me. He keeps saying "It is your destiny!" Destiny is a broad term to use but I'll accept it. I really don't know where I would be without John. He is always always so incredibly supportive of me. We were briefly talking about this the other day and I said to him, "You realize that this is a gamble, and if I go down, you go down because we're in this together, right?" although I don't remember exactly what he said, I remember him again filling me with support and saying he's willing to take that chance with me. Even last night I was being a woman and upset for only God knows why and he said when he gets out of the Army if he has finished his bachelors he wanted to transfer his GI Bill to me to pay for culinary school. While I would never ever accept this, (and I think he knows that, because since he has met me he knows I'm all about working hard) in fact I would so much rather see him use it for graduate school for himself, I can't describe what his offer meant to me. He would be willing to hand over to me, all of his education benefits that he worked so hard for in his military time just so I could bake some cookies? But that's the thing! He is the only one who see's it the way I see it. It's not just baking cookies for me, it is happiness, joy, a hobby that I LOVE to do, life's little pleasures and what I live for. I can't describe why I love baking and dessert making, I just do. And John sees that more than anyone.
I want to mention that I do no live in the land of OOOoooo (Adventure Time Reference) and I realize that my dream of Rosie's Bakery is far off. That's okay, I want Rosie's Bakery to be like fine wine. I believe my idea will get better with age. I know that I have so much ahead of me because Rosie's Bakery even becomes a possibility, and it probably won't until I am way into my 30's or 40's but again that is okay. I know it's going to take time, I just want to plan, plan, plan, and learn everything I need to learn about baking and the business of bakery owning first.
John has been incredibly supportive of me really pursuing my dreams. I know that he more than anyone can see how much I don't like teaching. How it is just a job for me. He keeps saying "It is your destiny!" Destiny is a broad term to use but I'll accept it. I really don't know where I would be without John. He is always always so incredibly supportive of me. We were briefly talking about this the other day and I said to him, "You realize that this is a gamble, and if I go down, you go down because we're in this together, right?" although I don't remember exactly what he said, I remember him again filling me with support and saying he's willing to take that chance with me. Even last night I was being a woman and upset for only God knows why and he said when he gets out of the Army if he has finished his bachelors he wanted to transfer his GI Bill to me to pay for culinary school. While I would never ever accept this, (and I think he knows that, because since he has met me he knows I'm all about working hard) in fact I would so much rather see him use it for graduate school for himself, I can't describe what his offer meant to me. He would be willing to hand over to me, all of his education benefits that he worked so hard for in his military time just so I could bake some cookies? But that's the thing! He is the only one who see's it the way I see it. It's not just baking cookies for me, it is happiness, joy, a hobby that I LOVE to do, life's little pleasures and what I live for. I can't describe why I love baking and dessert making, I just do. And John sees that more than anyone.
I want to mention that I do no live in the land of OOOoooo (Adventure Time Reference) and I realize that my dream of Rosie's Bakery is far off. That's okay, I want Rosie's Bakery to be like fine wine. I believe my idea will get better with age. I know that I have so much ahead of me because Rosie's Bakery even becomes a possibility, and it probably won't until I am way into my 30's or 40's but again that is okay. I know it's going to take time, I just want to plan, plan, plan, and learn everything I need to learn about baking and the business of bakery owning first.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Introduction
The purpose of this blog is to provide an outlet to share my kitchen creativity.While there is no real "Rosie's Bakery" of my own yet, someday I promise you there will be. Baking for me is an indescribable joy for me.
The name Rosie comes from my first dog's name which was Rosie. She was a beautiful red golden retriever whom has always stayed with me, even though she passed away when I was 15. My grandparents used to operate a diner named "Corky's" after my grandfathers dog he found in Italy during WWII. I guess it just felt fitting to follow the same idea I was stumped on a name and this just came to me. Rosie was a very special dog to me, and really held a special special place in my heart. I don't know why but after that idea came to mind, I can't think of naming my bakery anything else. Besides I'd like to devote a section of my bakery to making gourmet doggie desserts along with people desserts. Nothing crazy, just a few doggie cookies and biscuits. Maybe someday Rosie's will be a bakery for just dogs, and I can devote another establishment to humans. :)
It started for me in college, about my sophmore/junior year in college I really got into the trend of caking shows that were dominating TLC and Food Network. My housing area did not have a kitchen so I just got my fill watching late night airings of 'The Cake Boss'.
Then junior year came and I came across an opportunity to take a cake decorating class at the Michael's Craft Stores offered by Wilton. This was really fun. So fun to where I considered dropping out of college to pursue cake decorating. I didn't and I moved back home instead and finished my college degree. In retrospect I should have followed this wild idea but I digress. That was my start into the idea of dessert making.
Moving home was good because it meant a kitchen. Bad because it meant my fiancee was six hours away back at college. Eventually the next year he moved in with me at my parents and joined the Army. We got married a few months later and he was off to Army Basic Training. Again baking was a huge stress relief for me at this time. On weekends I often couldn't sleep so I stayed up till 3-4 am baking. Baking anything we had ingredients for, pies, cakes, cookies, it was just fun.
Well he survived basic training and I met him at graduation with a bag full of homemade cookies and a slice of homemade cheesecake (of which I carried in a lunch bag on a plane and kept overnight from Tampa, FL to South Carolina, IT WAS MY MISSION and his only request.) and again baking was a huge part of my life and I was not only so happy to see him (after 10 weeks apart) but to be able to have delicious homemade cheesecake for him.
This brings us about here to where we are now. Married living in Korea, with no kids and two pet rabbits. (no dogs/cats allowed in our apartment)
I currently work at a middle school as a para-professional and live in in Seoul, Korea and we are stationed here for a while. I graduated in 2011 with a bachelors degree in education studies- special education and really haven't done much with that besides this job I'm working currently. Teaching is a good job but it's not my passion. I've been working with a program to become a certified teacher but that has to be put on hold at the moment because of being in Korea.
I want blog about my dessert making, on occasion life in Korea, and desserts in general.
The name Rosie comes from my first dog's name which was Rosie. She was a beautiful red golden retriever whom has always stayed with me, even though she passed away when I was 15. My grandparents used to operate a diner named "Corky's" after my grandfathers dog he found in Italy during WWII. I guess it just felt fitting to follow the same idea I was stumped on a name and this just came to me. Rosie was a very special dog to me, and really held a special special place in my heart. I don't know why but after that idea came to mind, I can't think of naming my bakery anything else. Besides I'd like to devote a section of my bakery to making gourmet doggie desserts along with people desserts. Nothing crazy, just a few doggie cookies and biscuits. Maybe someday Rosie's will be a bakery for just dogs, and I can devote another establishment to humans. :)
It started for me in college, about my sophmore/junior year in college I really got into the trend of caking shows that were dominating TLC and Food Network. My housing area did not have a kitchen so I just got my fill watching late night airings of 'The Cake Boss'.
Then junior year came and I came across an opportunity to take a cake decorating class at the Michael's Craft Stores offered by Wilton. This was really fun. So fun to where I considered dropping out of college to pursue cake decorating. I didn't and I moved back home instead and finished my college degree. In retrospect I should have followed this wild idea but I digress. That was my start into the idea of dessert making.
Moving home was good because it meant a kitchen. Bad because it meant my fiancee was six hours away back at college. Eventually the next year he moved in with me at my parents and joined the Army. We got married a few months later and he was off to Army Basic Training. Again baking was a huge stress relief for me at this time. On weekends I often couldn't sleep so I stayed up till 3-4 am baking. Baking anything we had ingredients for, pies, cakes, cookies, it was just fun.
Well he survived basic training and I met him at graduation with a bag full of homemade cookies and a slice of homemade cheesecake (of which I carried in a lunch bag on a plane and kept overnight from Tampa, FL to South Carolina, IT WAS MY MISSION and his only request.) and again baking was a huge part of my life and I was not only so happy to see him (after 10 weeks apart) but to be able to have delicious homemade cheesecake for him.
This brings us about here to where we are now. Married living in Korea, with no kids and two pet rabbits. (no dogs/cats allowed in our apartment)
I currently work at a middle school as a para-professional and live in in Seoul, Korea and we are stationed here for a while. I graduated in 2011 with a bachelors degree in education studies- special education and really haven't done much with that besides this job I'm working currently. Teaching is a good job but it's not my passion. I've been working with a program to become a certified teacher but that has to be put on hold at the moment because of being in Korea.
I want blog about my dessert making, on occasion life in Korea, and desserts in general.
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